What’s the fuss about millennials?

by Nathan Chua

The irony in the complaints about millennials, is the thought that these kids were raised by the very same people who are now their biggest and most vociferous critics. The need for casual communication, the wish for personal fulfillment over financial security, the preference to spend resources on travel and experience over the accumulation of material possessions, the primacy of relationships in the workplace over other perks at work, and of course, what we often hear baby boomers and Gen Xers complain about, their sense of entitlement to getting what they wish for without paying their dues, all of these are what the fuss is all about. They are called the, “Look at me,” generation.

I have read through some recent articles studying the phenomenon. They paint a rosier picture than what I had expected. It’s really all a matter of not missing the forest for the tree. For these very same traits that millennials learned from the way they were brought up, are the ones that will make them the kind of productive workers that only this generation that grew up with the internet, can uniquely provide.

It’s all just a matter of knowing these tendencies and providing the right kind of working environment that will allow them to flourish. The fuss is really about this generation of young people starting to join the workforce that is still led by the boomers and the Gen Xers. Like any other moving in situations, having a new breed of home dwellers invade your private space, can pose challenges to say the least.

Some of these potential benefits can be drawn from the millennials’ preference for working in teams, and their confidence in casually discussing their views to their seniors. This makes possible contributions accessible and available with neither fear nor shame. Then of course, they can also teach the older generations how to work more efficiently, with the use of social media to communicate much more quickly than other traditional means.

I guess as far as I can surmise from the resources that I found, it is really up to the more mature part of the population to adjust to the needs of the younger ones. Then we can see the potential benefits of such a flexibility amongst the older set.

I for one, am not so keen on finding out how these dynamics affect the world of work while I deal with individual clients. I guess it’s just the part of me that wants to see all of us as human beings with the same bedrock wishes and needs. I recently found a wonderful quote from a Harvard Professor, Gordon Allport, “Each man is like all other men; each man is like some other men; and each man is like no other man.”

We are both different from, and similar to each other at the same time, which make us true wonders of nature. This is the reason that I come to see every encounter with a client, an adventure into the lives of the wonderful, and the amazing.

 

 

Is mindfulness the answer to emptiness? Vlog

This presentation contains images that were used under a Creative Commons License. Click here to see the full list of images and attributions: https://app.contentsamurai.com/cc/72998

Watch this on YouTube!

For more videos, please visit our YouTube Channel! Click here!

Two Essentials of a Loving Relationship – Video

This presentation contains images that were used under a Creative Commons License. Click here to see the full list of images and attributions: https://app.contentsamurai.com/cc/63571

Click here to watch this video on our One Life Only YouTube Channel.

Two Things that are Essential to Any Couple’s Relationship

by Nathan Chua

I am not one to say that I have easy answers to all of life’s problems. I hope the title does not mislead you into thinking that there are only two things that you need, to have a better relationship. Please note these are essential, but not the sole needs of every couple, who would each have their own set of unique circumstances affecting them. At times, their struggles concern other matters such as responsibility, physical intimacy, child-rearing, money management or trust. For this blog post however, I will focus on two deficits that I find common among couples that I meet. Let’s call them the Two C’s of Loving Relationships.

First C is for Connection.

In a blaming and shaming culture, it is easy to fall into adopting a false stance, or a false self. We essentially try to hide who we are, in the face of the shame that we experienced, most often early in life. To minimize emotional pain, we dig deep into our comfort zones, where the need to express some of our more vulnerable emotions, is held in abeyance. We therefore lose that inherent ability to show our emotions as they truly are.

This inability to show authentic emotions is connected to how couples feel toward each other. Couples only see the angry side of each other. I often wonder how a weeping and distressed individual that I see in my office, could be treated so harshly by the other. It is rather simply because this helpless and vulnerable state, is not what is normally displayed at home. Home has become unsafe. The relationship is no longer as real as it had been when it was just beginning. The result is each partner just expecting the worse out of the other, as they only see their angry and resentful selves, with no reason to believe that change can come anytime soon. Connection is lost and will be hard to come by if vulnerable emotions are kept hidden.

Second C is for Compassion.

This should not be confused with guilt or pity. Compassion is a genuine concern for the welfare of the other. Caring enough for your partner, that the last thing you’d like to see, is witnessing him or her in deep pain and sorrow. Guilt on the other hand, is a focus on the self and not on the other, while pity is too distant, and denigrates the dignity of the other. Without compassion for the offended person, it will be hard to connect and heal the inevitable emotional wounds, that are bound to be inflicted in all close relationships. Compassion is the fuel that feeds forgiveness, and the glue that connects our souls.